Mentality Bible Study Series " The Continual Process of Anger"

Scripture base Mark 6:14-29

Opening: Mark 6:7-13 - Jesus sends out the twelve two by two. He gave them instruction and authority and according to vs. (12-13) they were successful.

vs. 14 - 15 Jesus’s name is getting a buzz, but there are mixed emotions about who he is. Some say he’s John the Baptist raised from the dead, others say Elijah, and others say he is a prophet like one of the prophets of old

vs. 16 - 29 The conversation changes when King Herod gives his commentary on the subject

King Herod reveals that he was responsible for killing John the Baptist (Remember: the masses believe that the the miracles that are being done are as a result of John the Baptist who had been martyred at the time was raised from the dead.. and there’s this confusion some think it’s john, some think it’s Elijah and some think it’s a prophet like a prophet of old

But when King Herod here’s of the miracles being performed, He’s convinced more so convicted that it was John the Baptist

Because Herod was responsible for killing John

We also learn who was behind the plot

The Conviction

Mark 6:16 But when Herod heard of it, he said, “John, whom I beheaded, has been raised.” 17 For it was Herod who had sent and seized John and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, because he had married her. 18 For John had been saying to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.” 19 And Herodias had a grudge against him and wanted to put him to death. But she could not, 20 for Herod feared John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and he kept him safe. When he heard him, he was greatly perplexed, and yet he heard him gladly.

Herod was convicted of John’s message

Herod was also convicted that he had martyred John

The Conspiracy

vs 19 Herodias nursed a grudge

vs 21 an opportunity arises

she conspires with her husband through her daughter

English Standard Version Chapter 6

21 But an opportunity came when Herod on his birthday gave a banquet for his nobles and military commanders and the leading men of Galilee. 22 For when Herodias’s daughter came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his guests. And the king said to the girl, “Ask me for whatever you wish, and I will give it to you.” 23 And he vowed to her, “Whatever you ask me, I will give you, up to half of my kingdom.” 24 And she went out and said to her mother, “For what should I ask?” And she said, “The head of John the Baptist.”

The Plot Carried Out (The Continual Process of Anger)

Mark 6:25 And she came in immediately with haste to the king and asked, saying, “I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter.” 26 And the king was exceedingly sorry, but because of his oaths and his guests he did not want to break his word to her. 27 And immediately the king sent an executioner with orders to bring John’s head. He went and beheaded him in the prison 28 and brought his head on a platter and gave it to the girl, and the girl gave it to her mother. 29

The plot to kill John was carried out

John called out Herod’s and Herodias sin of illegal marriage

Herodias grudge

Opportunity (the oath at the banquet)

Discovering Herodias’ Continual Process of Anger

John calls out her sin ....

Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

She nurses a grudge (RESENT someone strongly enough and persistently enough to take action against them)

She became Bitter - a form of anger that provokes you

She had stored up Wrath - a state of intense displeasure, and, indignation to have fury

She became Clamorous - Shouting & yelling

She became Slanderous - abusive words falsely spoken that damage a persons reputation

She became Malicious - perverting virtue and moral principles from their purposes to evil ends

Internalization

Sometimes people repress the anger, meaning they deny anger’s presence. This is unhealthy because even though it may not be observable, the anger is still present—turned inward on the person. Repressed anger can lead to numerous emotional and physical problems including depression, anxiety, hypertension, and ulcers.

Or people may suppress their anger, meaning they acknowledge anger and then stuff it. With this approach to coping, they redirect anger-driven energy into unrelated activity. This can be effective, though it neglects addressing the root causes of anger. One risk is that people who suppress may become cynical or passive-aggressive—an indirect form of revenge manifesting as sarcasm, lack of cooperation, gossip, and so on.

Ventilation

Healthy expression of anger entails nonaggressive, gently assertive actions that promote the respect of self and others. This addresses problems in a constructive manner.

Unhealthy/sinful expression involves acting in an aggressive way that hurts others. Whether one yells, uses violence, or withdraws, the motivation involves revenge or “payback.” Persons expressing anger this way might say, “At least you know where I’m coming from!” However, they refuse to acknowledge the destructive force of their expression

Physical symptoms

Physical symptoms of anger include: headaches, ulcers, stomach cramps, high blood pressure, colitis, and heart conditions.

Emotional symptoms

Emotional symptoms include: criticism, sarcasm, gossip, meanness, impatience, being demanding, withholding love, and refusing to forgive.

Levels of Anger

Men are like steel: when they lose their temper, they lose their worth.

Chuck Norris

Irritation—a feeling of discomfort

Indignation—a feeling that something must be answered; something wrong must be corrected

Wrath—a strong desire for revenge

Fury—the partial loss of emotional control

Rage—a loss of control involving aggression or an act of violence

Hostility—a persistent form of anger; enmity toward others that becomes rooted in one’s personality, which affects one’s entire outlook on the world and life

4 ACTION STEPS

The goal is not to be “anger free.” Instead, it is to control your response to the present anger—both the emotional and biological arousals that anger may cause.

1. See It

Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.

Marcus Antonius

• Focus on the source of the anger. List the triggers (in session and as homework). Until the client can control the anger, he or she should avoid the triggers as much as possible.

• Learn to identify anger before it is out of control. How do you feel physically when experiencing anger? Do the following:

— Identify angry feelings while they are still minor. State out loud, “I’m feeling angry right now.”

— Be aware of the first warning signs of anger, which may be physical changes. Anger promotes a sympathetic nervous system response (a physical state of readiness) and the following biological changes: rising heart rate and blood pressure, amplified alertness, tensed muscles, dilated pupils, GI tract disturbances, clenched fists, flared nostrils, and bulging veins.

2. Delay It—Proverbs 16:32; 29:11

• Brainstorm ways to delay the expression of anger:

— Take a “time out”; temporarily disengage from the situation if possible (twenty-minute minimum).

— Perform light exercise until the intensity of anger is manageable.

— “Write, don’t fight”; jot down troubling thoughts. This exercise is personal and writings should be kept private, possibly destroyed, not sent.

• Talk with a trusted friend who is unrelated to the anger-provoking situation. Don’t just vent; ask for constructive advice.

• Pray about the anger, asking God to give you insight.

• Learn the value of calming. (A person in a state of fury is not equipped to deal healthily with an anger-provoking situation. Calming will help him or her let some of his angry feelings subside before expressing anger in a healthy way. Note: Ruminating is the opposite of calming, and makes anger worse by repeating destructive thoughts about an anger-producing event.)

3. Control It

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

Proverbs 29:11 NIV

• Brainstorm some ways for the client to express his or her anger in a healthy way:

— Respond (rational action); don’t react (emotional retort).

— Maintain a healthy distance until you can speak constructively (see James 1:19).

— Confront to restore, not to destroy.

— Empathize (yelling is a failure to empathize). Speak slowly and quietly (makes yelling difficult).

— Surrender the right for revenge (see Rom. 12:19).

• If anger begins to escalate to wrath or fury, it is not the time to engage in interactions with others. Instead, temporarily redirect your energy to solo activities, or reestablish calm before confronting others.

4. Settle It

• A plan should be made for follow-up, perhaps:

— finding an accountability partner

— individual counseling

— joining an anger-management group

— considering medication

• You should actively continue spiritual growth if you are going to effectively manage anger. The Bible says, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Gal. 5:22–23).

• Remember to:

— surrender—to the Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:16)

— reflect—on the mercy and love God provides (Eph. 2:4)

— pray—admit to God feelings and regrets (Matt. 5:43–45)

— forgive—choose to let go of resentment and bitterness (Eph. 4:31–32)

— avoid—ruminating and revenge (1 Cor. 10:13; 1 Peter 1:13)

— give and receive—mutual respect with those close to you (Eph. 5:22, 25)

— love—even those who anger you (1 Corinthians 13)

— remember—what it was like to be on the receiving end of someone else’s anger (1 Sam. 19:9–10)

— resolve—the anger issues (Eph. 4:26)